#like don't get me wrong it's not a HAPPY ending not for anyone
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
sturnslutz · 24 hours ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
matt surprises angel for valentines day.
honestly no warnings besides fluff, smoking, and cursing. happy vday everybody! :) angst at the end, i'm sorry it's dirtbag!matt if u don’t wanna read the plot twist dont read the last sentence
matt was never one for valentines day. you were though. he's spent a couple valentines with a couple girls over the years, but never once bought something for them, other than just a good fuck.
he felt different for you, though. he knew you absolutely adored valentines day. all the pink, the hearts, the love in the air. he wanted to make you feel good, and not just with his dick. he wanted to see you happy.
he still denies having feelings for you.
when he told chris and nick his surprise for you, they couldn't even fathom thinking matt could be this nice, especially for someone he's know for 4 months, max. but they weren't complaining, and they knew you would love it.
this day has been hell for you. you wanted to be happy with valentines day, but your school work was piling with reviews for finals soon, and your job booked you a double shift, which made you confused because it was a library, and you didn't really expect anyone to come on valentines day. you were wrong.
it was around 6:30 that matt had texted you that he was picking you up from work after you mentioned to him earlier that you were working a double. luckily for him, it gave him extra time to set up and to do whatever he needed to do.
he texted you that he was outside, and you clocked out at 6:45. he was waiting outside on the curb, leaning on the passenger side with a blunt in his hand. when the doors opened, he looked over and smiled a bit. "hey, baby." he walked over, wrapping his arms around you, kissing the top of your head.
you didn't say anything, just hummed and wrapped your arms around his body. you inhaled his warmth, and his scent of weed and his cologne that you absolutely loved. he noticed your quietness and leaned his head down, kissing your cheek. "y'tired angel?" he asked softly in your ear.
you nodded, pushing your head deeper into his hoodie. "cmon. let's get you in the car, you're freezin'." he pulled away from the hug, but wrapping his arm across your shoulders as he walked you to his car. he opened the passenger side door, gently putting you in.
he got into the car, and started it, and giving you the blunt in his hand, which you happily accepted. "i got a surprise for you, angel. for valentines." your tired self looked up at him as your face lightened almost immediately. "really?" you said happily.
he nodded, smirking. "y'gonna love it. y'can go to sleep. i'll wake you when we get there." he rubs your thigh a bit, before squeezing it and turning on the seat heater for you, just like you like it.
you nod, handing the blunt back to him before leaning your head on the window, immediately letting sleep overcome you. about 15 minutes later, you wake up slightly to kisses on your hand.
your eyes flutter open, but a hand is covering your eyes. "are y'awake baby?" you nod a bit. "okay, i'm covering y'eyes because we're here. i want you to keep your eyes closed and i'll help you get out of the car, okay?" he says softly before kissing your hand again.
you nod again. "promise." he takes his hand off your eyes, and just like you promised, you kept your eyes closed. you heard his door open and quickly run to your side, opening your door now. he grabbed your hand, still making sure your eyes were closed, as he went behind you, pushing your back against his chest as his hand once again makes its way to your eyes. he begins walking slowly and then stops.
he takes his hand off your eyes. "don't open them yet. i need you to know i've never done this for any girl before, or anyone actually. i know i'm a bitch sometimes but y'the sweetest girl i know. chris 'n nick helped me with this. y'can open your eyes now." his speech came out a bit shaky, almost like he was nervous. you've never heard this tone from him before, but your heart fluttered.
you opened your eyes, the sun hitting them directly as the sun was setting. you let your vision become adjusted before actually looking at what was infront of you.
matt had brought you to your favorite spot in all of town, the spot matt had introduced to you, it was where the sun had set right behind the lake and forest, the view being perfect. he had set up a picnic with tons of bouquets of your favorite flowers.
your eyes filled with tears as you smiled big. you looked at matt, who was almost avoiding eye contact as he looked down and picked at his nails. "matt." you said, choked. he looked up at you before his face softened seeing your tears. "fuck- do you not like it? i knew it was cringy but-" "i love it, matt. thank you." you didn't let him get another word out before you hugged the boy, almost knocking the air out of his lungs.
he stood still for a bit, before relaxing into the hug, hugging you back softly. "really? y'like it?" you nod against his chest as he kisses your head before resting his chin on your head, rubbing your back. "cmon. enough cryin'." he says that, but makes no move to actually pull away.
after some time, you did pull away, sniffling. he looked down at your puffy face before he smiles, and you do too. "cmon, angel. let's go eat." he pulls your hand, bringing you to your pink blanket that you left at his house, resting on the grass. once you guys sat down, he thankfully brought his car up close enough to the blanket where you two would be able to lean back against the front, watching the sunset.
what you didn't know was the pics he had of the girl he saw right before he picked you up, in a pair of new lingere he had bought her in your favorite color.
taglist 1: @muwapsturniolo @lovergirl4gracieabrams @m4ttg1rl @lypsiiii @tyummyz @sturniqlo @emely9274 @shadowthesim @mattsobvimyfav @sturnl0ve @wastelandzella @fallininlust @chrisslut04 @sophand4n4 @vainilladollie @slutforchrissturniolo2 @ncm9696 @snoopychris @ilovedanielcaesar @sofieeeeex @chr0mehrts @cockettechris @iloveduckssm @stvrnioloslvt @sturn777 @priscillaog @allylovescody @sturniolo101 @mattssslutbby @mattybsgroupie @mattysketchup @m11rx @slut4brunettes @trevorsgodmother @chrislova @slut4christopherr @sturns-mermaid @oopsiedaisydeer @conspiracy-ash @p1mpactivities @sweeetbabysblog @brooklyncameron @chrisgetsmewetter @h3arts4harry @jetaimevous @starstrucktyrantinfluencer @raesturns @sturnsrecord @matteatmeout @luvvs4chriss comment to be added or removed.
95 notes · View notes
honeyhotteoks · 2 days ago
Text
₊ ⊹ ⟡ together; alternate version (정윤호 ♡ j.yh)
yunho's been away for tour, only this time, when he comes home you have very different news to share.
style: bullet drabble (alternative sequel to losing time) pairing: non idol!yunho x fem!reader word count: 2.5k tags/warnings: fluff, light angst, all things pregnancy and babies, light smut with breeding kink/preg kink (yunho is v happy she's pregnant essentially lmao) notes: this was fully inspired by an anon in my inbox who asked what would have happened in my short fic together if the news reader had to share was a pregnancy and how would yunho react to that. i don't take fic requests, but i love babyfic and this just turned into a little bullet and drabble fic i thought i would share with everyone.
[masterlist]
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
at the end of losing time, yunho leaves for tour and it’s a long one. a full two, two and a half months abroad in europe while you’re left at home in a different time zone missing him terribly. 
you find out the truth while he’s away, only a few weeks into tour when you start getting sick. it’s not something you can just spring on him while he’s on tour, it would distract him, it would stress him out, and frankly you just don’t know what to do. what decision to make. 
you know how you feel about yunho, and you knows how he feels about you….  but this type of news always changes everything. 
so you keep it to yourself, and you do your best to make it through. 
only when yunho does return.... you’re showing. it's not a lot, just the beginning stages of a curve at three months, but it's starting to be apparent if you’re wearing fitted clothing and it's not something you would be able to keep from him if he touched you. 
so when he comes home, finally, and texts you, asking if he can send a car to bring you to the studio, you want to say yes so badly but you can’t. 
this isn't a conversation you can have in front of anyone else so you say no. and you’re honestly terrified, so you lie, just a little white lie. you tell him you can't come and that you’re not feeling well, you’ll see him another day soon.
anxiety is fully eating you up and you’re spiraling, and you don’t know it but your texts fully freaked yunho out. he's convinced that you’re going to break up with him and waited until after tour to do it, and he's sick about it.
after dance practice, he sneaks out and comes to your place.
all of a sudden hes there, he’s knocking on your door. 
you thought you had more time, you still don’t know how to tell him, what to say- but he’s there 
and -
You're a mess. Your hair is tangled from running your fingers through it again and again, and you're pretty sure this sweatshirt has a coffee stain on it, but he's here and no matter what you have to face this.
He knocks again, a soft rap on the door, "y/n, please let me in,"
"Just a second," You call back, knotting your hair back into a bun and kicking on your slippers. Your stomach rolls with nervousness, but at least, you think, it's not morning sickness.
When you finally pull open the door your hands are trembling, and Yunho's pained expression doesn't help.
"Hey," You manage.
"Hi," His eyes dart over you, a crease of concern between his brows, "can I come in?"
You move to let him in immediately, stepping back into the apartment, "Sorry, of course,"
When you shut the door tight and flip the lock, silence fills the space, but somewhere within you, you find the strength to turn around and look up at him.
He shifts from foot to foot, clearly off balance at the strange discomfort between you, and finally he sighs, "Whatever it is," he says, "I know we can work it out."
A strike of panic lances up your spine at the thought he might already know what words are sitting like lead on your tongue, but all you can manage is a soft, "What?"
"You're avoiding me," His hands flex and release, "we haven't seen each other in months, and now I'm here, and you haven't even smiled. I don't think you're sick, I think something's wrong."
"Yunho," Your voice cracks, and you can feel tears threatening your eyes already. You wanted to hold it together, but this is already too hard.
He swallows tightly and keeps talking, his own voice laced with nerves, "I know two months was a long time, and I know I haven't been the best boyfriend, I should have called more, made more time for us, but, y/n," he takes a tentative step towards you, "I love you, and I really don't want to give up on us, please, don't,"
Things slot into place at his words and you shake your head, "Who said anything about giving up on us?"
The words hang for a moment, and then he softly exhales, "You're not breaking up with me?"
"No!" Your voice squeaks as you rush to dispel that idea, "No, oh my god, not at all,"
He grins, covering his face with his broad hands and sighing, "Jesus Christ," he sighs, "I was going out of my mind,"
"No," You shake your head again, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you like that."
He drops his hands and you can see the tension leave his tight shoulders, "Thank god," he smiles and steps towards you.
Panic bubbles back up inside you and you raise your hand to stop him, stepping back until your hips bump into the back of the couch, "Wait,"
His expression crumbles, "What's going on?"
You just have to say it.
"Um," Your stomach flips, "I do have some news."
"News," He repeats numbly.
"Yeah," You start to cross your arms over your chest but the realization that it would pull the fabric of the sweatshirt closer to you rockets through your brain and you drop your arms helplessly by your side. You have no idea how to tell him this.
"You can tell me anything," He says softly, reading your panic in a moment, "and you know, there's nothing we can't handle together."
"Yunho," Tears start to gather, making your eyes glassy, "I don't know how to tell you this,"
"I'm here,"
The panicked, terrified, anxious part of your brain scoffs, for now. You look away from him immediately, eyes glued to the floor. If this is how you lose him, then you guess it just wasn’t meant to be.
You take a steadying breath and jump, "I have something to tell you," you knot your fingers together, "and I didn't know how to tell you while you were away. I was afraid of distracting you or trying to figure this out while you weren't, you know, here,"
"Okay," He murmurs, taking a slow step in your direction, "I'm here,"
"A week after you left," You press your eyes closed tight, tears tracking down your cheeks, "I missed my period,"
He's silent. Your stomach churns again, but you keep going, "For a little bit I just thought it was stress, or something funny, I'm not always on schedule, but, then I started getting sick," With your eyes closed and with him so quiet, you can almost pretend you're practicing this speech, one of the many times you talked it through in the shower, lying in bed, pacing laps around your apartment. "I'm so sorry," Your voice cracks, "I'm pregnant," You can't bring yourself to open your eyes. "I know I should have told you," Tears rush forward a little faster now and you take a hitched breath, "and I know you don't want this, but you deserve to know, and I... I don't, Yunho, I don't know what to do, I don't know what I'm s-supposed to do, and," Yunho steps forwards all at once, his hands cupping your cheeks and drawing your face upwards, "Hey, hey," he soothes, voice tender, "look at me," Your eyes finally open, meeting his gaze. You expect to find him terrified, any twenty-something guy with a delicate career would be, but all you find in his eyes is soft comfort. There's no trace of the idol in him, just your lover, your best friend. "It's okay," He wipes away your tears gently, "sweetheart, breathe," "Why aren't you angry?" Tears rush faster, your breath tight. He smiles, "I'm upset you didn't think you could tell me," he dips forwards and presses a kiss to your forehead, "but y/n, I love you, this isn't... baby, this could never be bad news." "W-what?" "The timing's terrible," He admits, "and I also have no idea what we're supposed to do, but I don't care. I love you, we'll figure this out." Of all the reactions you expected from him, this hadn't even crossed your mind. When he leans back from you a little to study your tear stained face again, he smiles, and it feels like everything about your life is about to change. Slowly, you pull his hands away from your face and take a steadying breath, "Yunho," you manage, "you're an idol, and besides, we're twenty-six, we're not even married, we're not, what the hell are we going to do with a baby," He slides his hands over yours and brings them together, lifting them so he can press his lips to the back of your knuckles, "We'll do what people do, we'll make it work." You shake your head, feeling fully unmoored, but he keeps going. "I knew you were it for me on the second date," He says and the world slows to a stop, "the only thing in the world I'm terrified of is losing you, but this? y/n, I'm in love with you. Did you think I haven't imagined what our lives would be like?" "I," You can't find the right words, but you try, "I love you," His smile widens, and he moves quickly, tugging you forwards and wrapping his arms around you properly. He's much taller, and he has to lean over you, but he wraps one arm smoothly around your lower back and your hands settle on his shoulders. He pulls you up in one smooth motion, his free hand slipping under your thighs as you wrap them around his waist to hold you tight against him. He kisses your lips, tender relief in every press of his mouth on yours and he nuzzles your nose with his, "I missed you," he breathes. "I missed you too," You confess, your body finally relaxing and melting into him, weeks and weeks of tension bleeding out of your body, "so much," He hugs you close, your arms wrapping around his shoulders as you bury your face into his neck, and then he freezes, "Oh my god," his hand slides over your back, landing on your waist, "you really are pregnant," You know he can feel it, the change in your body when you're pressed flush against him like this, and you nod into his neck. "H-how," His hand pushes under your sweatshirt, searching your skin, "baby, how far?" "Fourteen weeks," He sucks in a breath, dropping you gingerly back to your feet, "I can't believe you didn't tell me," For a split second you think you're finally getting the anger you anticipated, but the giddy expression on his face says otherwise.
"I've missed so much," He snakes a hand under your hoodie, and lays his palm over your slightly distended belly, "I'm... god, I can't believe this," "You're not upset?" You check softly. "No," He shakes his head, and then he tugs gently at your sweatshirt, "No, but, can you take this off, can I see?" You're nervous again, but his easy energy wraps around you like a safety blanket and you nod, swallowing back any fears and pulling off the sweatshirt, leaving you in nothing but your sweat pants, and a tight tank top. His eyes zero in on the bump immediately, and the sliver of skin between your sweats and the hemline of your top. Your hands rest over your belly, a nervous, protective instinct, "I know," He blinks hard, tearing his eyes away from your changing body and up to your face. "What?" You ask, butterflies fluttering in your stomach. "You're really pregnant," He says, his voice a little rough, and then he reaches again until his hand slides over the smooth plane of your stomach, tracing the curve, "that's my baby," "Yeah," You breathe softly. 
Tears track down his face and he laughs, reaching for you again, up into his arms and nestled against him. 
From there?
He’s kissing you and he just can’t stop. 
You’re a mess from stress and tears, and hardly feel sexy, but he doesn’t care. He’s missed you, he loves you so much and this news is unexpected and terrifying but he’s so happy he doesn’t care
So holding you in his arms still, he takes you to bed
And you’re apologetic about the mess, your bed stand is covered with water bottles and anti-nausea medication and it hits him all at once how you’ve just been holding it together by a thread 
And he pulls you into the bed - “You’ve been sick, this hasn’t been easy, has it? I could have been there for you, I wish I had been there,” 
But you assure him that you’re mostly on the other side of it, you’re only sick like once in a while now not every second of every day 
And he’s like….. we are talking about that later, but right now how are you feeling? 
And you’re good…. but god, you missed him and now you’re just so relieved
So he begs you to let him take care of you now, he’s home, he can carry that weight if you’ll let him
And teary tender kissing in bed leaves his hands wandering, noticing how much is different, losing his mind over your bump and the new fullness of your breasts
And he’s hard and you’re touch starved 
And then he’s just losing it a little - kissing your body, telling you how much he loves every inch of you, how insane it makes him that he did this to you, how you made something together
And all the tenderness to dirty talk sends your brain into overdrive. 
It’s all just desperate needy, thank god we didn’t break up i can’t believe i got you pregnant sex
Worshipping oral, lots of body kissing and feral groaning from Yunho
His absolute insanity at being inside you like this - and you’re tighter, wetter, and needier than ever, and he’s just feral for it
“You’ll be the prettiest mommy, won’t you?” 
Just heaps of breeding and preg dirty talk
“God, I hope you want a lot of kids,” 
“You look so good like this, I’ll have to knock you up again,” 
“So pretty with my baby inside you,” 
And when you’re done, you fall asleep instantly. you’ve been sleeping so much more all of a sudden, and you suppose your body needs it, but it feels like you’re finally resting for the first time in weeks
When you wake, your apartment is clean, he got take out (but he’s googling best soups for morning sickness and texting Wooyoung cooking questions), and he’s making a list of everything you’ll need. He’s already making a plan of what you’re going to do. 
So even though the tour was terrifying, he’s home, he’s got you. You’re together on this, always.
101 notes · View notes
nakylvr · 7 hours ago
Text
��� BACK TO ME
daniela avanzini x fem!reader
summary જ⁀➴ after an argument breaks out and hurtful things are thrown, you leave for a few days, and daniela realizes just how much she needs you
warnings/tags જ⁀➴ angst with happy ending, language, established relationship, dealer!dani au, arguments
now playing જ⁀➴ back to me by the rose
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
things had been straining recently. with tax season coming up you spent most of your days after work trying to figure out how to not get completely fucked over and get a ton of money taken out. you also got promoted at your job, which was both a blessing and a curse. more money was always a good thing, but your patience was already wearing thin when the argument started.
you had just gotten home, wanting nothing more than to relax when you realized daniela wasn't in the apartment. too tired, you shrug it off and lay down on the couch, still in your work clothes, not bothering to change. you ended up falling asleep faster than you anticipated.
when the front door opened, it was dark outside. you could hear it, but you couldn't find it in you to get up.
"yn?" daniela's voice is heard quietly. "what are you doing on the couch?"
you hum, opening your eyes groggily and looking up at her. "where were you?" you mumble.
"had to run out real quick," she answers. "come on, let's go to bed."
"for hours?" you say before you can think.
daniela's expression changes at your words, but you don't notice past the dark in the room. "i needed to do some stuff," she responds. "i'm sorry." she doesn't know why she's saying it. most likely out of fear that this conversation will spiral out of control after all the bullshit that happened earlier in the year. she doesn't want a fight right now, and she's trying to keep it from happening.
"who were you with?" you ask, slowly sitting up.
"minji," daniela answers truthfully. "she needed some help getting a gift for hanni, then she came with me for a deal that i had to do on the way back."
your eyebrows furrowed together, looking back at her. "you let her go along with you?" you inquired.
"yeah?" dani replies, but it comes out unsure. "i knew you were getting off work late and i didn't want to bother you."
"but you let minji go with you?" you press. "you told me i was the only one."
"well, yes. but minji's my close friend, i–"
"didn't see anything wrong with it?" you cut her off. "cause it looks a little weird when all your clients know me and then you show up with some other girl that's not me? let me guess, you saw keeho?"
"how did you–" daniela gets cut off again by you talking over her.
"he texted me," you tell her. "asking, and i quote 'who this random chick' is with you instead of me. so it's not just me thinking i'm crazy."
"i didn't say you were crazy," daniela quickly says, shaking her head. "baby, please, this isn't that serious. you know minji."
"but other people don't," you respond. "what if it wasn't keeho?"
"i-" daniela stops herself, taking a breath. "this is the only time i've brought someone other than you."
"but why?" you stand up from the couch, making daniela take a few steps backwards. "you're the one who tells me that you don't let anyone go because you don't want them to see, but minji is just a different story or something?"
"it's one time!" daniela says, her voice raising slightly. "why does it matter?"
"why does it matter?" you repeat. "you tell me, daniela. you tell me." you cross your arms over your chest.
daniela is quiet for a minute, trying to think of the right thing to say to not upset you more. "i know what you're thinking, but this isn't a big deal. i let her come along because it was keeho. nothing else, no other reason," she tells you. "i promise."
"not a big deal, you keep saying that," your voice turns sharp. "what's not a big deal? that i'm reasonably concerned when you're out hours past when i got back and tell me you were doing some stuff, helping minji get a gift for hanni, and do a deal? because those are multiple different answers."
"oh my god," daniela mumbles, looking around before back at you. "yn, seriously, it's nothing."
"give me your phone," you demand.
"what?" she looks at you confused.
"consider this a phone check. give it to me." you hold your hand out.
"you're serious?" daniela asks. when you don't answer, just stare at her, she pulls her phone out of her pocket and hands it to you. "jesus christ," she grumbles under her breath, crossing her arms over her chest.
looking through the recent messages, your fingers hover over one specifically, and when you glance up from the phone to look at daniela, she feels her heart drop to her stomach at the expression on your face.
"so what? you have clients wanting to get you shit for valentines day? is that the excuse you're going to give?" you say seriously, tilting your head to the side.
"what?" daniela lets out. "no one has–"
"what's this about then?" you hold the phone towards her, showing a thread of messages.
"that's jaehyun!" daniela exclaims, throwing her hands up in the air. "he's my friend!"
"and you know i don't like how close he is with you!" you retort, your voice raising. "every time we go to his place it's like i don't even exist! he's obviously hitting on you!"
"he literally isn't! he's gay!" daniela scoffs, shaking her head. "plus, he literally has a boyfriend!"
"well that didn't stop you the first time, did it?" the words come out faster than you could think.
"right," daniela scoffs again, nodding her head. "right, because it's always my fault, isn't it? i'm always the one fucking up, right?"
"yeah!" you nod. "you're the one who says you can pull anyone, and then you act like i'm fucking crazy when people are all over you and i don't like it! like it's not right for me to feel upset even though i'm your girlfriend!"
"i've never called you crazy! when have i once said that?!" daniela's voice starts getting louder, nearing the edge of yelling.
"but you look at me like it!" you end up yelling first. "like-like it's a problem that i get jealous! you're allowed to have your hands all over me when i'm with my friends when you're jealous but when you have three different girls who give you thousands of dollars each month all over you it's weird when i get defensive and jealous!? that's not fair, daniela!"
"so what? i'm supposed to just sit there while girls eye-fuck you or try to get all close?!" daniela retorts. "you don't even know! you're so fuckin' naive that you think everyone just wants to be friends!"
"naive? i'm naive?" you let out a laugh, shaking your head. "right, sorry for being nice enough to make friends who don't just want to fuck me for some shit!"
"they still want to fuck you!" daniela yells. "look at sophia! you ran to her when shit got hard and look what happened! who's telling me that you won't go run off to some other 'friend' of yours only for them to fuck you while you were still mine!"
you stop once sophia's name is spoken. daniela knew better than to bring her up after the events that happened, knowing how much you regretted your stupid decision and how bad you felt about it afterwards. but in the heat of the argument, the second the words leave daniela's mouth you're standing there in silence.
"you know what," you eventually speak up. "maybe i will."
"will what?" daniela asks, seemingly not realizing what she said and how you took it.
you shake your head, letting out a scoff. you toss her phone on the couch and walk into the bedroom, not saying another word.
"yn?" daniela sighs. "yn! what are you doing?"
a few minutes later you walk back out with a bag in your hands, making daniela's eyes go wide.
"what're you doing?" she asks.
"i'm going to jungwon's for the night," you answer simply. "or, the rest of the night, i guess."
"what?" daniela looks at you confused. "why?"
you stare at her with a deadpan expression, waiting to see if she'll notice what she said. when she clearly doesn't, you shake your head again. "because he's a friend who won't fuck me while i'm still yours. those are your words," you tell her before starting to walk to the front door.
your words make daniela realize what she said, and she immediately starts following after you to the door. "yn? yn, baby, don't be like this! i didn't mean to bring her up!"
"but you did." you swiftly turn around, causing her to abruptly stop. "you did even though we talked about it and you knew how fucked up i felt afterwards. but if this is what comes out of your mouth when we argue, then i know you're still pissed about it. so, i'm leaving for the night, or maybe a few days, i don't know." you shrug. "i know i fucked up with what i did. i regret it. but you told me it was okay. when apparently it isn't if you're bringing it up. so while i'm gone, you think about what you want, daniela. because you are on thin ice, and it's cracking. so figure it the fuck out."
you leave the apartment before daniela can get a word out, the door slamming behind you echoing through the place. she stands there for a few minutes, waiting to hear you come back, but you never do.
"god damnit," she sighs, dragging her hands over her face.
the whole remainder of the night daniela kept texting you, telling you to come back, that she was sorry and didn't mean it. but, that's how she always was whenever you two fought. and you were tired of everything right now.
when you got to jungwon's, he was surprised to see you, but when you explained the situation he immediately brought you inside and talked with you about the whole thing. he was always good with comforting others and advice. plus, he could tell you were straining yourself recently.
while daniela sat inside the apartment, moping around waiting for you to come back, still texting you as the day passed and you didn't return or respond. she knew you were upset with what she said, that was obvious. and she couldn't lie and say that the event didn't gnaw at her every fiber since she found out, even if sophia got what she deserved in the end, because it did. she knew it shouldn't. that it was a moment of vulnerability for you, that you had no one else to go to. it all spirals back to her regretting what she did in the first place to start it all.
for the whole day daniela thought of what to do, how to fix this. she sat on the couch for hours thinking of what will make you not mad at her anymore. when she got an idea.
it was day three and you still weren't responding, so daniela took matters into her own hands and texting jungwon asking if you were there. he answered truthfully, saying that he wanted her to figure it out with you so he was trying to help the most he could. so she drove over to his place.
standing in front of the door, daniela shifts her weight from one foot to the other anxiously, biting her lip in hopes that this would work. the door opens and jungwon is revealed, who smiles at her.
"hey, dani," he says. "she's in the guest room."
"thanks," daniela replies, walking past him when he opens the door wider for her.
approaching the guest room, daniela knocks on the door a few times, hearing you hum on the other end. she slowly opens the door, making you turn and see it was her. your expression hardens, and dani notices, knowing she's still in deep shit.
"hey," she says awkwardly, pulling the flowers from behind her back. "i got you these." she holds them out, looking at the ground.
you can't help the way your eyes soften at the tone in her voice, quiet and hesitant compared to the confident loudness you were used to. she looks like a kicked puppy staring at the ground, and you let out a short sigh before getting off the bed, walking over to her and taking the bouquet from her.
"i'm sorry for what i said," daniela mumbles. "i didn't mean to say it i just...i still think about it sometimes and i don't know why. i know you didn't do it to hurt me on purpose but sometimes i...i worry that you're going to leave once you realize i'm not the best for you."
her words shock you as she still stares at the ground, finally speaking the thoughts that had been eating her up inside. "dani..."
"i-i know i'm not the best," she quickly adds. "i know you can find someone who will treat you better like it's nothing. but i don't– i can't lose you. i love you so much, so fucking much, and it scares me so much when we fight because i know every time it's another tick gone and that eventually you'll get tired of me and leave. i don't want you to leave. we fight, we have our ups and downs, but you always stay. you always stay and i know one day y-you won't." daniela's voice cracks at the end, tears filling her eyes the longer she talks. "i'm sorry." a few tears fall.
carefully setting the flowers on the bed, you take another step towards her and cup her face in your hands, making her look at you finally. "it's okay," you tell her softly. "you're right, i always stay. i always stay because i love you. i wouldn't if i didn't. dani, i don't think you know that you are the best relationship i've had. all of the other ones ended like shit. you prove to me time and time again that even if you fuck up, you own up to it and you don't run away. i won't ever get tired of you, i promise." you wipe away the tears falling from her eyes. "i love you, and i love the flowers. you always know what to get me."
"i try," daniela responds quietly, nodding slightly.
"i know." you nod. "and i love that about you." you lean in, pressing a soft kiss against her lips.
parting from the kiss, daniela's arms snake around your waist and pull you close to her as she puts her face in the crook of your neck. "i love you," she murmurs against your skin.
"i love you too," you reply, petting her head gently.
79 notes · View notes
dandysworldhcs · 12 hours ago
Note
ANGSTANGSTANGSTANGSTANGST
who will I be making depressed today? the mains because I kin 3 of them holy shit (in two parts. this is part one YIPPEE) (also these are the 3 I kin)
berry boy:
ahem. after the ichor incident, sprout became really scared for what could happen, but eventually he suppressed it and basically turned it into a kind of need to feel like he's protecting someone. like for example even if everyone is safe he just HAS to check just in case because what if this what if that this could go wrong that could go wrong if this happens that could happen and this has happened before so if I do this I can lessen the chances of thing happeni- and gets burnt out significantly quicker than... literally everyone else in gardenview. he won't admit it though he'll just sit in his room with the door barricaded (the handlers had the keys to the door locks) trying to function properly, and if someone tries to check on him he'll hide under his bed or desk to avoid being seen because UH OH DANGER DANGER WHY AM I BEING SEEN DOING NOTHING UHHHH OH NO !!! irrational panic basically (even though the only entrance is barricaded...). also, when he discovered tapes could be used to heal he immediately began using them on runs because if even a single person is not on full health he cannot feel relaxed in the slightest- but the dumbass doesn't care if he's on one and WILL run away from cosmo at 1 if he doesn't have enough tapes to heal him back (I'm totally not projecting all of this totally). also random but he will definitely cry if you yell at him (he'll go somewhere to hide before crying though). also has a habit of assuming everything that goes wrong has to be his fault because 'he was supposed to make sure everything went fine'
asstroke:
eepy hypersomniac who in a lot of situations wants to just sleep instead. he dozes off a lot because of that. also, it might be a bit subtle, but he can tell when his friends aren't rested, and usually tries to fix it, even if it's the kind of tired sleep can't fix. also, the guilt from knowing too much about the ichor operation and not being able to say anything about it to protect dandy eats at him endlessly. but you know when he's free from all that? in his curated dreams, where nothing can affect him, where he can be happy, free from all the depressing truths gardenview has to offer (think basil from omori but with sunny's headspace). he's starting to see everything as a kind of cycle... and he's kinda losing motivation to do pretty much anything, but he kinda still has to to survive so. also, the insecurity about his extra arms came from when gardenview was still open, a lot of children called him bug-like for it or even just straight-up scary or ugly, so now he just hides 'em by turning himself into a burrito with his blanket. also, not depressing but... he's just always cold, so he wears a shirt, another shirt, then poncho, then blanket
ammonite wannabe:
being constantly ignored by everyone has increasingly proved to her that no one really cares about her, and that has made her more open about her feelings. no one's listening, what's the point in not thinking out loud? she's done the thing where she just doesn't talk and sees if anyone notices... and they do! but they jokingly say 'aren't you gonna start yapping about dinosaurs around about now?' but unfortunately, she didn't realise it was in a joking way and ended up 'realising' everyone thought of her as the dinosaur girl, not anything else. not a person, not someone worth loving, just 'the girl who likes dinosaurs'. she also secretly gets REALLY happy whenever she gets hurt on a run because that means she'll get healed, which is a form of care!!! yay!!! (can you see the dynamic yet. guy who stresses whenever anyone gets slightly hurt and girl who loves getting hurt to feel cared about. and they're totally 100% not both me) sometimes people just don't notice, but usually it's fine. she yaps about dinosaurs because it's something she's interested in and she wants people to know all about them!!! but unfortunately people thought it was annoying that she talked about them so much, so they avoided her. this led to her thinking that people just don't want to be around her, and that they weren't wrong for it
- psstyourbonesarewet anon
wet bone anon. watch out. im coming for you. you arent gonna see it comonv.
17 notes · View notes
skiagraphe0 · 5 hours ago
Note
The correct response to that anon is to say, "It's really awful that you view lesbians as so far removed from the average, everyday human experience that only they can write F/F. I personally view lesbians as people just like anyone else, and therefore think anyone can write them, as they are relatable people and not radically different than you and I are. I hope you overcome your bigotry moving forward."
Seriously, I cannot think of a reason why someone shouldn't write F/F if they want to. My dad is cis, bi and married to a woman, but he ships Seven of Nine/Janeway from Star Trek Voyager because "they would make sense together" and "they would be happy together". My mom is a cishet woman and she ships Elsa/Merida because "they wouldn't put pressure on each other to be something they're not, and that's what a good relationship is founded on". I'm a pansexual trans man and I ship Marinette/Kagami because I love these two, I want them to be happy, and I think they vibe well with each other. Are any of us doing anything that hurts lesbians when we have these thoughts? Are these thoughts actually damaging anyone's lives? If we were to write fic for these ships, would that take away from some lesbian's lived experience somewhere?
The reality is that reading queer romances when she was a teen opened my Deep Southern mom's eyes to the reality that queer people are people just like anyone else. The reality is that reading queer Star Trek fanfic unlocked for my dad the idea that bisexuality was an option that existed at all and he wasn't a confused gay man or a confused straight man. The reality is that my growing up thinking of this as normal is an extremely recent luxury and that for most of history, there's been so little accessible queer fiction for most people that this "you're the wrong sort of person, how dare you write this" attitude would've gotten you laughed out of the room in most eras. TV shows are still so regularly burying their out characters that any time they don't, people are hyped. You'll notice that they doesn't chastise each other, "don't be hyped about the happy ending, it wasn't written by a lesbian".
Lesbians are not alien entities, unknowable and unthinkable, impossible to fathom or to write unless you are one. They're people. You can write them, because you are also a person. You have the same kinds of day-to-day problems like communication, schedule management, budgets, etc. You have the same desires like for your annoying coworker to get off of your back, for your rent not to rise and for traffic not to suck, etc. Lesbians have the same debate in their head between 'I want to buy that' and 'I could make that cheaper myself at home' when looking at cookie dough or lasagna that we all do.
Honestly this kind of anon jackass that this anon is describing feels, to me, like they're probably fairly against F/F and lesbians specifically at that. You don't run around discouraging people from writing lesbians specifically and acting like they're eldritch creatures unless you've got some serious lesbophobia going on.
I’m sure february will be over by the time this posts but :{ I’m rlly frustrated by a trend in the miraculous ladybug fandom rn :{
Theres these two posters who are doing f/f events for february in the miraculous fandom. Ones an account who’s done a sfw “femslash february” every year for years. The account says nsfw is allowed but that account just wont share it. The other one is the poster who runs the miraculous kinkmeme. This year she made a special section for f/f prompts for femslash february.
Then in january someone started sending mean anons to people about the nsfw account saying the person wasn’t a lesbian. When the person running the sfw event replied to one and said that didn’t matter the anons started harassing anyone making f/f for the sfw event too. According to anon only lesbians get to make f/f.
I rlly hate it because even though miraculous is one of the biggest m/f ships on ao3 rn we have a great f/f fandom and I don’t want that to go anywhere because of this :{
--
31 notes · View notes
permanentreverie · 2 years ago
Note
how did your quick prediction before the last few pages turn out? 😃😭
I HAD A SLIGHT HUNCH AND I WAS RIGHT BUT I STILL ENDED UP SCREAMING AND CRYING
#spoilers for tpw:#I mean the only way for it to end is for Rin to die.#as I was nearing the end I knew she couldn't be placed in any place of legal power#because that's not RIN. she's not a ruler; she's a soldier. a weapon.#and in the last quarter or so I was thinking that I wouldn't put it past Kuang to kill Rin.#I am so very satisfied with the ending though#like don't get me wrong it's not a HAPPY ending not for anyone#it hurt. it really fucking hurt.#but it was the only way to end a trilogy like that and a character like that#don't get me wrong I would have loved for a character like rin to get absolution and peace at the end of everything.#but this isn't that kind of story.#and I think with all of her destruction - like this girl is 21 and has committed genocide.#the blood of hundreds of thousands on her hand(s)#and she showed no remorse. like the book said she would have razed the world to keep her semblance of peace#she's doomed by the narrative#she's been dead since the beginning#there is no other way this story ends#a war orphan beaten and ridiculed who clawed her way to power who stank of addiction to keep herself sane with a god that threatened#to break her psyche screeching in her mind as she burned people and cities and COUNTRIES to ash and brittle like they were paper.#gosh I can write a paper on her character. it has been so long since a book has made me want to write an essay.#ANYWAYS I'm getting off track lollz what was your question?#oh yes the ending was excruciating but also so liberating I want to drink warm cider and stare deeply into the abyss#and let the finale swallow me whole#tldr I kinda suspected it but the way it was executed was everything. so good. what a fitting ending.#answered asks
7 notes · View notes
stars-n-spice · 10 months ago
Text
Here the thing is-
Episode 15 better fucking be 3 hours long or some shit because what the FUCK!
And if it's not, it better end with like the fucking "The Bad Batch will return" title card shit they have at the end of Marvel movies with there being an announcement for a new series that is a continuation of the Bad Batch but it maybe called something else because it doesn't only relate to the Bad Batch.
I see people saying let's get a "Tales of the Clones" and that would be great, amazing even, but seeing as the last two "Tales of the [thing]" were series comprised of two stories focused on two characters (and backstories at that) I don't really see it working out well in tying things up in Bad Batch.
If anything, maybe it'll work, but if they do a "Tales of the Clones" I do hope it follows Rex leading some kind of clone rebellion or something and then also Cody and seeing him go to Tatooine to find Obi-Wan.
Even better? We get "Tales of the Clones" AND an additional other clone show that ties up everything in the Bad Batch.
Hahaha....right? Not like Star Wars would let us down, right? They totally would give the fans what they want instead of what they think they want, right? Right?
I say all of this as I put on my clown wig, nose, and shoes.
43 notes · View notes
waveridden · 13 days ago
Text
watched the l*ne st*r finale and went man i can't wait to see all the posts ripping this bullshit to shreds and let me tell you. that's not what's happening on tumblr dot com
9 notes · View notes
adore-gregor · 2 months ago
Text
.
#holidays have not been what i hoped for so far 😔😔#well the first week was good but then i got sick 😭#and it's been so awful#having a cough is literally the worst i couldn't sleep it was so bad#and i couldn't even enjoy doing anything really because you can't properly focus on the thing bc ur coughing non stop#i hate it sm#and today it was gone all day only that now it is back altough not as bad as before but still#it always gets worse in the evening#like help i just want this to end#what made it even worse i had real plans to study and now i barely got anything done 😭😭#and now i'm scared for exams bc i couldn't follow the plan altough i still have more than 2 and 3 weeks left#in my mind i already think i'm gonna do badly bc i need to study more i'm afraid#and i'm also upset at myself even though it's not my fault i got sick but i keep thinking i still could have done more ughh#to make it even worse i coudn't play tennis for a whole week and i was so looking forward to playing everyday (and improving) 😢😢#i couldn't do any sports or see anyone i miss it sm#i hope at least in the new year i can do stuff again 🥺#it was just the worst cold/flu and idk why whenever i get it it's that extreme 😵‍💫#or idk is it normal that you can't sleep bc of it ... i just don't wanna get sick again ever lmao it's the worst#i guess christmas was still nice it wasn't that bad then and it was a lovely day with my family :)#and our tree was really pretty this year and i'm really happy with my gifts and also those i gifted 🥰#the week before was good i did play lots of tennis and i went on a christmas market with uni friend and to vienna for a trip with my mom ^^#but maybe it was too much sometimes i wonder if i do something wrong or if it is just bad luck like i did train a lot#and i played a tennis match for my club and won against a higher ranked opponent so yay 😁#and i played really well i feel like i once again really improved my level :)) but i did play kinda sick already so maybe that was rly bad😅#maybe i should stop doing that 😅 but i didn't know it's gonna get this bad i just had the worst headache and sore throat#well ig i should have known but i also always feel like i have to play and i love matches and like my team needs me?#who else would have won that? i'm one of the best at my team and the others who are rly good weren't there that day so i felt responsible 😅#honestly my mom possibly she is also quite good but it would have been close and i wasn't sure so i played 😅#but i have done this too often by now... playing sick i really can't help myself 🤦‍♀️
3 notes · View notes
flowerofmayhem-personal · 1 year ago
Text
I actually much prefer a lot of how studio VOLN is handling Blue Exorcist over A-1, I know not a popular opinion in areas and get the places people say looks off but the vibes and heart is so good? also there is a lot of amazing shots and imo calling Rin "ugly" in it is an exaggeration to me, there's some wonky shots but there's also SO MANY he looks great! I think sometimes people forget that A-1 had equally bad shots and design choices like I think a lot are looking at the older seasons through rose colored glasses personally! not to mention they ruined a lot of scenes and how they changed them/adjusted them in their adaption that to me affected characterization and making some of the cast look almost dumb in a situation the manga version shows was more serious and dire!
ultimately my view has been: I'd rather an adaption feel like the heart is in the right place and the characters feel like themselves vs everything being pretty all the time and would rather deal with a few wonky shots of characters over a bad representation of a story and characters I love! visuals are not the only thing that matters to me ever
11 notes · View notes
dedicatedfollower467 · 6 months ago
Text
my brain is being loud and mean about gender stuff again and i really wish it wouldn't do this.
6 notes · View notes
eclarinet · 7 months ago
Text
same soup... different day
#hello it is sarah in the tags again#i feel like i tell myself i'll actually use this as a blog and then i forget and then i remember and then i forget again#venting ahead if that is not ur jam (talking to the 2 followers who actually see my posts)#i like tumblr because it;s so removed from my personal life that it feels really like a place i dont have to be anything for anyone#anyway i've been wondering if i should go back to therapy again but i feel like they might get tired of me because i keep bailing and comin#back like an addict lol like i swear i'll commit this time! sike. ghost be upon ye#anyway this time i'd come in for the big D#i don't like the floor it just feels closer to being six feet under and a bit like where i belong#i feel like a great number of things have happened in the past year and i've met all of it with a very lukewarm sense of dread and anxiety#its not even about feeling happy i dont even think i can feel shaken by anything. i feel like people see my apathy and think it's confidenc#anyway im not going back. they always say the same thing. can't do shit about shit life syndrome. and i don't want pills i'm so sick of the#isn't it something that i'm especially depressed the day before i start my new job? it's a tradition at this point. cheers#isn't it cruel that everyone in my life seem to put me on some kind of bizarre pedestal and no one questions my decisions or authority and#i battle with myself to figure out if i'm doing the right thing (no one will tell me the truth they are all scared of me getting angry)#was talking with a friend about how it'll be if i join their group project in a module we're taking soon.#and she's like well isn't it obvious? everyone will just listen to whatever you say and we'll end up doing well.#no one would challenge you because you're always right. and it's like.. yeah. i guess. okay. (hate that i know she's not wrong)#lol can u tell this is why house is kind of getting to me. learning lots of things about myself watching that man commit medical malpractic#anyway. i didn't ghost my therapist this time i remember now. she left the clinic lol she asked me to connect on linkedin. that was amusing#i always feel like the therapists here never know what to do with me and i kind of have to hold their hand a bit through my psyche#also they seem to be a bit at awe of me which is a bit annoying. and i know that definitely sounds like Issues but it's just like#ugh not you too. please stop i'm sick of it i'm sick with it. i don't want you to be inspired by my awful life and how i handled it#and i have nothing to say for it but... *gestures vaguely* of all of this
2 notes · View notes
soryualeksi · 2 years ago
Text
tw child death tw harm to pregnant people
#so after 5 years of searching i found someone who was working on the car crash i was witness and did first aid at when i was pregnant#a lady who was also pregnant and about as far along as me probably further was crushed by falling debris#she was a pedestrian and a driver fainted in his car accelerated and crashed through several pedestrian spaces and then metal beams fell#i knew she lived as far as ICU but i don't know what came after that#and i kept searching for someone who could tell me whether her child pulled through#well i found someone yesterday and it's not the happy ending i kept wishing for#the baby was emergency delivered right at the ER trauma room back then like 5 minutes from the ambulance arriving and loading her#but had to be declared dead right there#and i always kind of knew this was the outcome because i remember asking at the hospital even tho obviously they weren't allowed to tell me#but when they said the good things they were allowed to they all got a thousand yard stare#so since that day i knew that her baby died and mine lived#but having confirmation from someone who was there is still. sigh.#it's good to have no hypotheticals anymore tho i think it will help me get closure#i wish her child could have lived too#she'd done nothing wrong but be at the 'wrong' spot in a pedestrian space at that time. there's no reason and no meaning.#there's no meaning to human suffering. suffering is just suffering. it's always a bad thing period.#ah man sorry to throw trauma at y'all#it's unlikely anyone here remembers. i did blog about it back then. and it was what made me change career to EMT#i guess it's good to know in a way that even if i *had* been an EMT back then there was nothing in human hands to save her baby#nobody could do it#there is patients you cannot save no matter what and it's not a failure on your part#we are all humans with the good and the bad and the strengths and the limitations#so that's my musings#it's good to finally know for sure after all this time searching but it's also hard#ah what a downer story in the morning#the man who was next to her was fine#it's so unfair and meaningless#gotta work harder on easing this unfair and meaningless suffering#child death cw#harm to pregnant people cw
1 note · View note
mobpd · 4 months ago
Text
I'm so lonely i'm so lonely i'm so fucking lonely
#thinking about death and i'm just. crying#sometimes I finally find the perfect way to describe all of my pain in a way that'll actually make sense to someone else#and I just cry. it hurts. it hurts#of course i'm not telling anyone. but imagine getting the chance to#i'm tired of feeling the same pains over and over again#it gets old. it gets old complaining about it. people get tired of hearing it#eventually you just have to stay silent. stay silent. unnoticeable. keep your head down. never smile. never express yourself#but that ruins everything too#why can't I do anything right#what does everyone else seem to get that I don't#I shouldn't even be so afraid in the first place. it's the fact my head's not normal#everything will always break because I can't be normal#I try so hard to break the cycle or stop myself from doing what ruined everything before and it doesn't work. it doesn't work!#I just ruin everything still! nobody wants or loves you enough to deal with you! nobody can stand you!#even if they did you just wear them down until they can't anymore#nobody cares about you nobody cares if you're hurting nobody cares about your happiness nobody cares if you end up dead#everyone can see what you really are#they would laugh if they saw you die#they want you to die. just give them what they want. this is the best for everyone. things aren't better because you haven't done it#I have dreams of people I know murdering me raping me telling me to kill myself walking on my corpse#I feel like an object. a bug. am I even real? what am i? why do I exist? why is this happening? why does my head hurt?#god doesn't like who I am either#just swallow them down. swallow them down and nothing will be wrong
0 notes
dailymanners · 3 months ago
Text
Tips and ideas for how to respond when someone is being rude to you
For personal reasons I won't get into, I have a history of just freezing when some is rude / hostile / aggressive / condescending / patronizing / etc. It's obviously not something I'm happy about at all, most people who freeze or fawn aren't happy about it and would change it if they could.
One day I confided in my co-worker, a middle aged woman in her 50's, that this is something I struggle with. Considering how confident and assertive she always struck me as, I was shocked when she told me this is also something she's struggled with.
The advice she gave me is to just memorize and practice a few broad statements or reactions that you can pull out of your pocket so to speak when someone is being rude or disrespectful to you. It's not easy if you're someone who's been conditioned to freeze or fawn, but practice helps. Practice saying these things when you're alone. Put up a sticky note next to your bed or on your bathroom mirror with these phrases and practice them when you see them. Practice saying these with a partner or trusted friend, role-play scenarios where you might need to use these phrases.
Here's a few phrases that have worked for me. The nice thing about them is that they tend to shut down the situation rather than escalating, while still letting the aggressor know that you don't find their behavior acceptable.
"Are you okay?"
This works well in professional settings, because it's not like your work place's residential bully can run to HR about you asking if they're okay (but they might if you try to retaliate and give them a taste of their own medicine). However, it still effectively sends the message "I think there's something wrong with your behavior and don't accept it". It's also not likely the response they're expecting, so it'll likely throw them off and prevent further verbal aggression.
"Could you repeat that for me? I didn't catch what you said."
This one is most effective for people you believe to actually have a conscious and might regret what they said if they actually thought about it a little more. I find that often when I do this one, when people repeat the rude/snippy/patronizing/etc thing they either shamefully stumble over their words and show some remorse, or they change altogether what they say. In the off chance they don't regret what they said and end up repeating exactly what they said, this at least buys you some time to think of a better reaction since you're no longer caught off guard by a sudden rude and snippy remark.
"Can you explain what you mean by that?"
Similar logic to the last one. Often when people are being rude/snippy/patronizing/etc they're caught up in their own emotions in that moment and didn't think it through. This is a polite and civil way of putting their rude behavior in the spotlight and making them reconsider what they said. The other advantage to this one is that in case you did misread their intentions and they meant no harm by what they said or did, this gives them an opportunity to clarify that, instead of you just feeling bad over a statement or actions they actually had no ill intentions with.
If anyone has any further examples of reactions / responses / statements that have worked for them, I'd love to hear about them. I'm new to studying the art of how to civilly yet effectively shut down bad behavior from others, so I'm always open to hearing more suggestions.
7K notes · View notes
medicinemane · 11 months ago
Text
The problem with people who are "right" because they insist they're right, and the only way to be right is to simply perfectly follow their every dictation on the subject unquestioningly is this...
Ok, let's just take it as a given that you're right... the problem here is that if that's what's right I'm afraid I have to dig my heels into being wrong. If you are as righteous and just as you insist you are then I've got no choice but to be the villain because I can't stand what you're saying I'd have to do to be good
Shockingly I even think it's wrong, which is odd because we've already defined it that you're inherently and unassailably right... yet here we are
Worst part is there's a lot of these things where I'm not even full stop against it, I actually might be on their side if they could stop and address a couple of issues I consider kind of important... but they won't, because they're morally right and don't have time for addressing nonexistent issues I'm clearly just dreaming up
Undoubtedly right they are, the defect must surely be my own... and yet here we are. Vile and wicked as it might make me, I still can't just go along with you
#mm tag so i can find things later#and whatever you think this is about and however you've already decided it agrees with you#I'll say this is about like... minimum 2 topics at very different points in the political spectrum... and probably like 20 easy#so like... it may well be talking about your own behavior on certain subjects#I'm talking about not even being willing to entertain good faith questions#and especially about labeling anyone who doesn't tow your exact party line a horrible person#...the amount of shit where it's like 'you know I actually agree with you... except for this one major sticking point'#'just tell me how we deal with this one pretty big thing and I'm fully on board' and... well actually you're terrible for that#or the amount of places where it's like I agree with your goals; but not your methods but... I don't think arguing would do a damn thing#you've already dug your heels in so deep and maybe you're even right to do it.. but I'll never go along with it no matter what that makes m#and the number of overall good people I know who this post is honestly about#they may well be far better than I am; I've never claimed to be good; quite the opposite#and yet I'm afraid I have to say that... to me you're wrong; wrong in concrete ways#maybe you could even address my concerns and help me see with my stupid brain why these aren't issues... but you won't#because you're right; and you know you're right; and so you'll never be wrong#and this isn't just some idle whataboutism... or maybe it is; I'll never say I'm the moral arbiter; again I could be wickedly wrong#and there's a variety of reasons someone believes what they believe; but... there's often blind dogma at the end#I may be stupid; but I can usually draw a line from my stance to something in the world#maybe it's a stupid nonsense line and I don't see my mental gymnastics... very well could be#but I can draw a line... it's not just circular logic; it's not just bouncing between two points#and I often can actually point to places I'm not happy with how things are or will be... we live in the real world and that sucks#example that... man it's more politically charged than I like getting; but ok#I really want this Ukrainian aid to pass even though I don't like the Israeli aid attached... but I get that's the only way it's passing#I want the Ukraine aid because I see residential houses getting stuck by missiles; but I don't want the Israeli aid for the same reason#and it comes down to that I think that the aid amount is sufficiently higher to Ukraine to make it enough of a net positive#I could be wrong... but you can at least see my work; I'm coming at it from a perspective of bombing civilians is wrong#I could be stupid; I could point to two people I know on here who would tell me I'm stupid for at least one part of this... probably all#yet there it is... and... it'll be hard to convince me otherwise
1 note · View note